


Eternity

by welcometothefangirlparade



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bellarke, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fanfiction, Hurt Bellamy, Hurt Clarke, Hurt/Comfort, injured bellamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 12:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10513713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometothefangirlparade/pseuds/welcometothefangirlparade
Summary: "Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?""I don't even know what to wish for."





	

**_BRACE_ ~~ _YOURSELVES_~~  **

 

Bellamy arrived in Polis, the remaining Arkadians standing behind him. Kane, Jaha, and Monty had announced they had found a bunker. A real, safe bunker to save everyone. That had gotten everyone's attention. Even those who had been so corrupted by Jasper's acceptance to death. He had acted strong, for the benefit of his people, but he was not fine. He was not okay.

Clarke was still trying to find a cure. When Kane had radioed them, Abby did not pick up. Raven wasn't available, and Clarke was MIA. They all were. Perhaps they were so busy finding a cure that they hadn't heard the radio, or a more morbid thought had crossed his mind. They had been attacked and the radio destroyed. Maybe Clarke and the others were being held captive, their kidnappers waiting until the radiation came to destroy them all.

Then there was the other name clouding his thoughts. Octavia. He had let go of trying to save her. At least he tried. The more he thought, the more he realized he wasn't letting go of his sister, he was letting go of himself. "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved." Kane's words echoed through his brain, pounding his skull, making him feel as if someone had kicked him in the head. He remembered repeating them back to him, only, his words were not for Octavia. No, they weren't. He was talking about himself.

Bellamy felt guilty. He felt remorse, and he felt depressed. He had made some pretty awful decisions in his life that made him hate himself, but siding with Pike and killing the innocent grounders was the last straw. He didn't deserve to live. A person as bad as him didn't deserve a spot in that bunker. He was a murderer. And killer. A monster.

He could blame part of that on Clarke leaving him behind to lead the people, but he didn't. That wasn't fair. She did what she thought would truly help her people. Leaving, so they wouldn't have to follow a murderer. He could say the same for himself, but he'd be lying. Deep down he knew what Pike was doing was wrong, but he obeyed nonetheless. He was not a leader. He was a soldier. Who acted on order, not on morality. He felt like a puppet. A puppet with strings that were controlled by a demon.

He didn't deserve to be saved. He hadn't told anyone what he planned to do. Lock himself out of the bunker and allow himself to die a painful death. The pain of the death that the 300 warriors, he'd murdered relentlessly, felt. He deserved that. He deserved to suffer.

A shout had interrupted Bellamy's thoughts, snapping him back into reality, putting his self loathing on hold. He turned his head quickly to see Octavia and Illian, walking through the entrance of Polis. Despite the bandage wrapped around her torso from her earlier injury, he was happy to see she'd survived the black rain.

As she walked passed, Bellamy could see the glare she wore, directed at him. She was still upset. He understood. She had every right to be angry, and hostile to him. He had gotten someone she loved, killed. It would taken more than a few weeks for her broken heart to heal, and even longer for her to forgive him. But it still pained him to know that she didn't see him as anything but a monster. He labeled himself, and didn't need anyone else to tell him again how bad of a person he really was.

Bellamy averted his eyes, staring toward the ground. It would be a long time before anyone could forgive him, but they didn't have that kind of time anymore. He remembered what Jasper had said. "The clock is ticking..." He was right. They didn't have time anymore.

"Screw this," Bellamy muttered, heaving a sigh. He found himself sprinting to catch up to Octavia.

"What?" She snapped, her voice low, and sharp.

"Listen, O," he pleaded. Not begging, he didn't beg for forgiveness. He just wanted her to know that he was sorry one last time. If she killed him afterwards, at least he would die knowing the person he loved most, knew he loved her.

"I don't want to hear another one of your stupid ass apologies," Octavia growled, narrowing her eyes. "O, please."

Anger flickered in her eyes, but for a moment, the soft, compassionate Octavia seemed to resurface. She crossed her arms over her chest, her mouth in a tight grimace. Then she uttered one simple word. "Talk."

He breathed in, swallowing hard, before he continued.

"O, I've been with you since the day you were born. You were my special baby sister. The one person I had ever loved enough to die for, And I would never want to do anything that would intentionally hurt you."

She tightened her jaw. "Well you did."

He nodded. "I know. I take full responsibility. But I don't want to keep going like this, Octavia. You're my sister. I just, I want you to know that this is me. I am sorry." "Sorry doesn't cut it, Bellamy."

"But that also means I'm done," he continued. "I'm done trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. I can't save you. Only you can save yourself if that's what you want. Despite all the bad I've ever done, O. I-" He saw a green flash of light flicker in the distance. He recognized it. The same green lasers that had been pointed a Roan the day he'd been brought back to Clarke. Back to Arkadia. Only they weren't until he hands of the Ark people. That he knew for a fact. This was Ice Nation. It was Echo. She was there to finish what she'd started. The death of his sister.

"Octavia! Get out of the way now!"

Confused crossed her face, but he didn't have to like to explain. Instead he found himself hurling himself into her, knocking Octavia out of harm's way. A sharp pain in his abdomen radiated throughout his entire body.

"What the hell, Bellamy!" She yelled, glaring daggers at him.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Clarke and the others who'd been on the island, running through the gates. They'd gotten the message. They were here. She was here. It was a temporary distraction, before he felt a greater burst of pain course through his body. He looked down at his fingers. They were bloody, as was his shirt. He managed to get out one word.

"Octavia?"

"Bell-" she stopped. Her eyes fell upon the red bloodstain on his shirt that began to grow. Spots danced in front of his eyes. Octavia's voice was inaudible. His eyes dropped, and his world faded into black.

\-------------------

Clarke Griffin Clarke had arrived at Polis, sprinting her way past the front gates. A bloodcurdling scream stopped her dead in her tracks.

Octavia.

Though her screams were a jumbled mess of words, Clarke could make out one, clearly and distinctly. Bellamy. Before she knew what she was doing, Clarke had taken off in Octavia's direction. The girl was huddled over the his limp body. A mess of curly brown hair could be seen on the ground.

"No," Clarke whispered, tears already blurring her vision. She tried wiping them away but only new ones replaced them.

"Clarke, please help," Octavia begged, turning. "Please?"

Clarke felt numb. Her legs refused to budge from the place that she stood, and her arms fell to her sides.

"Clarke!" Octavia yelled desperately. "He needs you now!"

Her bottom lip was trembling, and her hands and legs weak and shaking, but Clarke managed to race over the unconscious boys side. She felt sick. A mess of blood seeped through his blue shirt, making it impossible for Her to see where the bullet had entered. It was a failed attempt to roll Bellamy over. She tried, but he let out a strangled cry of pain, which made shivers run up Clarke's back. She couldn't stand to see him like this. Bellamy's eyes fluttered open.

"Clarke?" He asked weakly, struggling to keep from falling back into darkness.

"Bellamy," Clarke sigh. He was still alive. "Hey, you need to stay awake, okay?"

He nodded, but she could see he was in pain.

"You're crying," he whispered. He reached his arm up, wiping away the tears that ran down Clarke's face. "Don't cry. It's okay."

Her hands trembled, trying to find where all the blood was coming from. "Octavia, get my mom," she commanded, trying to keep her voice steady. "Now."

"It's not worth it," Bellamy cut in hoarsely. "I'm not worth it."

"You are," Clarke protested, watching in horror as blood seeped through her hands.

"And I'm not leaving until you know that!"

"Octavia-" he broke off into a fit of coughing, blood staining his lips.

"Echo...she was going to kill her...she deserved to live..."

"So do you..." He shook his head slightly, but stopped, grimacing in pain.

"Dammit Bellamy. Killing yourself is not redemption, okay?"

He only looked at her with a sad expression in his eyes.

She felt more tears sting her eyes, but she forced herself to stop crying. She couldn't afford to be weak in a time like this. She had to stay strong.

"Bravery is selfless, but sometimes selfless is just stupid. Remember what I told you before Mount Whether?" Bellamy nodded painfully.

"You said—you said you couldn't lose me, too."

"Nothing has changed. If you leave me now, a piece of me will die right along with you. You can't leave. You have to stay or you'll be letting down all these people who trust you. Who believe in you. Who _love_ you."

"Do you love me?"

Clarke bit her lip, blinking back the waterfall that threatened to fall upon her cheeks. "I do, Bellamy. I love you, okay? That means you are not allowed to die. Not while I'm still here fighting for you."

"Whatever you say, Princess," he murmured, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"No, Bellamy! Bell, you have to stay awake you have to keep fighting! Come on Bellamy! Open your eyes!" Clarke felt her heart beat grow faster and faster, in fear. She couldn't live without him. Not after all this time. Not after everything they'd accomplished. She needed him. She loved him. Trembling hands reach for his neck, searching frantically for a pulse. She let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding when she felt the faint beat. He was alive. Barely, but alive.

"Mom! Please, help," she cried, as her mother ran in her direction. "He-he was shot. He lost a lot of blood. He's alive, but his pulse is weak. Can you save him?"

Abby looked from the wounded soldier to her daughter. "I'll do everything I can."

As soon as they had been able to find a stretcher, they carried Bellamy into the bunker. He was conscious again, but only half awake.

"Hey, Bellamy," Clarke whispered, staring at his eyes.

"Octavia?" He croaked, his eyes searching the room. "

She's fine. She's fine, but she couldn't stay."

He stared at her for a moment, almost as if it was hard for him to process. "Does she hate me?"

"No, no of course not. She was just hurting, but she could never."

"She told me—she said the only reason I was still alive was because...I was her brother. I think that classifies as hate."

"She loves you Bellamy. You'll see that, you just need to get through this."

He averted his eyes to the ceiling, tears rolling down his face, leaving a streak between the red blood that covered his face, where Clarke had been cradling his head.

"You know, that first day trip," he said quietly. "When-when you first told me you needed me. That you'd forgive me. When you saved me all at once...I thought, I could fall in love with a...a badass princess like you. But I already had. That first day..."

He took in a shaken breath before continuing.

"I'm dying, Clarke," he stated blatantly. "Funny, I always felt like I deserved this. A-a painful...long, painful...death." He stopped, squeezing his eyes shut, letting more tears run down. "But I don't want to die," his voice was small, and quiet, like a child's plead. "Not while I'm still in love with you."

Clarke smiled through her own tears, swallowing hard. "Then you won't. I won't let that happen."

"Death is inevitable, Clarke." He gasped in pain. The gauze her mother had stuck on the wound completely soaked through. "You can't save me, even when I want to be saved."

"I'm not letting you die," she stated firmly.

"Just keep talking Princess," he told her. "About the future. What you picture it like. It'll ease the pain."

She knew it wasn't true. He would still feel the pain. He would still feel the hurt, the agony. But she kept talking anyway.

"You and I," she started. "We will be together. A happy family."

"Do you want kids?" He asked innocently.

"Yes," Clarke laughed. It wasn't a genuine laugh. One of someone trying to forget about the reality in front of her. "Yes, a little girl, and a little boy. They'll be amazing."

"That's good," he said, beginning to drift off. "That's good."

She tightened her jaw, to keep the sobs from escaping her lips.

"Promise me something," he whispered. "Anything." "Promise you won't forget me."

"I won't," she said, he voice breaking. "I won't, I won't." His hand fell limp in hers.

She couldn't hear his heat beat. She couldn't feel his pulse. She couldn't see his chest rise and fall. He was gone. He couldn't be. She had a future planned for them. He couldn't just be — gone. Blood dropped down his fingers, forming a red puddle on the floor below.

"It can't-he can't-This isn't real-" she muttered, her breath getting shorter. "I-" She stopped. Instead she screamed, knocking the supplies off the table, and fell to the floor, a mess of tears and sobs wracking her body.

Abby found her moments later, huddled in the corner, her whole body shaking.

"He's gone, Mom," she whispered. "He's gone."

Her mother's arms wrapped around her securely, and Clarke laid her head on her should, tears soaking her shirt. "I loved him. It took me so long for me to realize that, and now I will never get to see him again."

"I know, honey. Believe me, I know."

"Who'll tell Octavia?"

"You don't have to," Abby said. "I'll do it. You, rest. You aren't alone in this."

Clarke managed to give her mom a sad smile. Thank you, she tried to say, but nothing came out.

Clarke stepped out of the bunker, her legs shaking. Night had fallen. Stars twinkled brightly in the sky above her.

_"Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?" Clarke asked, watching as the flares shot into space._

_Bellamy looked at her, confusion spreading across his face._

_"Forget it."_

_"I don't even know what to wish for," he responded, turning back to the sky._

"I do," she whispered, staring at the stars, an array of patterns decorating the sky. She heard Octavia's broken cries shatter through the silent night. Clarke closed her eyes feeling one last tear slide down her face, slowly. "I wish for an eternity with you, Bellamy Blake."

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY FOR THE SAD FANFICTIONS!!! There has been a lot of speculation that Bellamy will take a bullet for Octavia in 4x09, and despite it being wrong or untrue and the fact that Bellamy will 99.99% live through it, this is sort of how I want it to go down IF IT DOES HAPPEN. Love confessions are always something that come out right before death, I feel like, in the fiction world at least.


End file.
